How To Start A Conversation With Your Kids When Mom and Dad Are Divorcing?

August 7, 2023

How To Start A Conversation With Your Kids When Mom and Dad Are Divorcing?

Divorce can be a challenging and emotional time for everyone involved, especially children. As parents, it is important to handle the situation with sensitivity and open communication. Starting a conversation with your kids about the divorce is crucial to help them understand and cope with the changes ahead. In this blog post, we will discuss some strategies to effectively initiate this conversation and provide support to your children during this transitional period.

1. Choose the Right Time and Place:

Picking an appropriate time and setting is crucial when discussing such a sensitive topic with your kids. Find a quiet and comfortable environment where they feel safe and secure. Avoid starting the conversation during a busy or stressful time, like before school or bedtime. Make sure you have enough time to devote to the discussion without interruptions. This will create a conducive atmosphere for open communication.

2. Plan What You Want to Say:

Before having the conversation, take some time to gather your thoughts and plan what you want to say. Anticipate common questions or concerns your children may have and prepare appropriate answers. Strive for a balanced approach that neither blames nor criticizes the other parent. It is important to present a united front and reassure your children that the decision to divorce was not their fault.

3. Use Age-Appropriate Language:

When discussing divorce with your kids, it is crucial to use age-appropriate language and concepts they can understand. Younger children may struggle to grasp the concept of divorce, so explain it in simple terms. Assure them that both parents love them and will continue to be involved in their lives. Older children may require more detailed explanations, as they can comprehend the complexities of the situation. Provide them with accurate and honest information while being mindful of their emotional maturity.

4. Encourage Questions and Emotions:

During the conversation, encourage your children to ask questions and express their emotions. It is important for them to feel that their feelings are valid and acknowledged. Be prepared for a range of reactions, including anger, sadness, confusion, or even relief. Offer reassurance and validate their emotions by saying things like, “It’s okay to feel upset about this,” or “I understand that you might have a lot of questions.” Listening without judgment and offering support will help them feel heard and understood.

5. Emphasize Consistency and Stability:

Divorce often brings significant changes, but it is essential to emphasize the aspects of their lives that will remain constant. Reassure your children that both parents will continue to love and care for them. Highlight the routines and activities that will remain unchanged to provide them with a sense of stability. Create a co-parenting plan that outlines visitation schedules and arrangements, giving your children a sense of predictability during this uncertain time.

6. Seek Professional Help If Needed:

Every child reacts differently to divorce, and some may require additional support to navigate their emotions. If you notice ongoing behavioral or emotional issues, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support for your children as they adjust to the changes. They can also provide valuable resources and strategies for both you and your kids to cope with the divorce.


Starting a conversation with your children about divorce is a difficult but essential step in helping them navigate through this challenging time. By choosing the right time and place, planning what you want to say, using age-appropriate language, encouraging questions and emotions, emphasizing consistency and stability, and seeking professional help if needed, you can ensure that your kids feel supported, understood, and loved throughout the divorce process. Remember, open and honest communication is key to helping them adjust and thrive in the face of this significant life change.

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